Monday, August 24, 2009

still adjusting

So I've had a few strange days as I continue to adjust to a new normal. Mary Louise and David are doing well with their feedings although they are still very slow with actual breastfeeding. I pump most of the time and give the milk to them via bottle and use breastfeeding as a comfort measure. At least they are getting the milk right?

I suppose the past few months - or the past year actually is finally starting to catch up to me. We've had so many changes around here that sometimes it's hard to keep them all straight. Combine that with all of the hype about the upcoming flu season and I think I'm appropriately nutty (well that along with the continued sleep deprivation).

Mary Louise has her hearing and heart rechecked tomorrow. It will be nice if the cardiologist reduces the oxygen wearing to nights and during feedings rather than 24/7 but we'll see - definitely don't want to rush things!

I can't believe our little ones are 4 months already - and that they've been home for about a month now. I relish the time I get to spend with them - breathing them in - hugging, holding, loving them. It's truly amazing - even with my slow adjustment to raising them as 2 rather than 3. I take in every look, every grin or frown, every kick and cuddle and tuck them away in my memory to bring forth at a later time - I feel as if I have an overflowing treasure chest tucked away already!

Brent sent me an article today that said that the second smallest baby in Louisiana went home this month from the NICU at Oschner in New Orleans. The baby was 13 ounces and was second to a 12 ounce baby. I suppose that would put David in line for 3rd place - a recognition I surely wouldn't vie for. The statistic does, however, work to reinforce just what miracles these little ones are (as if I really needed any more reinforcement!).

So, as I work through this period of adjustment, I take many moments each day to marvel at the simple fluidity of life in general - how quickly it can change, how vast the possiblities are and the amount of potential that is laid before me in these little ones that I am so so lucky and privledged to care for, and watch blossom and grow.

Will update on the appointments tomorrow!
Love, Heather

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