I'm Underwhelming but Sometimes Overwhelmed.

Mary Louise LOVES to perform. She's super animated, wildly happy and free spirited all the way. Lately, we've had a bit of a rough time though...

She's back in diapers for now after showing signs of just not being ready to completely dive in with the potty training. She was very very consistent...with code browns...and, well, after some time, I just couldn't take it anymore. This, my friends, was not one of my most shiny moments as a mom.

I fussed at her. She was obviously embarrassed and no matter how hard I tried to contain my frustration, it boiled over. big. She asked me 2 days ago why I was mad at her...then yesterday was afraid to come and tell me she'd had another "accident".

I felt wretched...and decided it was time to let her relax and use diapers a bit longer. My intentions were good: we would talk and talk about how wonderful it would be to poop on the potty (no kidding) and I would sit on the floor with her when she would want to go. I would read her books, do her nails, let her play with the toilet paper roll...anything she wanted as long as effort was being made. What actually happened was: she would run off and hide to poop - sit in a corner alone only to come and tell me it was "an accident". She seemed to know she needed to go - so I just wanted her to change her hiding place to the darn toilet!

No. Go. and the stress was getting to me - and more importantly, to her.

So, I once again have 3 in diapers...and the irritation in the house is down to about half in just one day. I am giving in - as if I have a choice - and not mentioning anything else about it to her (or trying not to). Her diaper has stayed dry - she even wakes in the night much of the time if she needs to go - she still asks to go when she needs - and still hides in the corner (not the bathroom corner much to my chagrin) to poop. So that's where we are for now.

Truth be known it's not just her. I've felt defeated lately and very tired. Everett is teething and should have some teeth break through soon...but he's very fussy and extremely clingy. We are staying quite isolated until after David's surgery to ensure that we can keep the date this time and loosing my gym time is less than my ideal...

But we'll make it. I can do better, and my sweet babies seem very forgiving (for now - ha!).

Thankfully, the weather is cooling a bit and we've had a number of outside days - weeding, turning over the veggie gardens, and playing in the little wading pool. Today, we baked (whole grain oatmeal raisin cookies, whole wheat bread and banana bread), talked about measurements and kitchen safety, and played with dough and batter...

and we danced...to the Eagles...just for a minute.

David just ate a tomato he grew himself - and that makes me happy (never mind his sweet grin from ear to ear!)

Yep, this parenting gig has weighed on me quite a bit lately ...and I'm keeping in mind that brighter times, when they come, when we create them together, will be that much sweeter because of this offered perspective.

Hang in there kiddos. Momma's working on it. And if you'll excuse me, David has requested my presence to see "A bug in ma fwimmin' poo" - who am I to say no to that?

xo,
Heather