Saturday, August 6, 2011

Graduation (oy).

Right - so FIRST off, Sean (Uncle Bean) walked for his LSU undergrad graduation yesterday. 5 kids, all with a minimum of a bachelor's degree = fabulous job Mom and Dad, Granny and Papa and Mommon (yes, we have that many parents) + thank you thank you thank you. I really was so so excited for him!! He's worked very very hard, has been accepted and enrolled in law school at Loyola for the fall, and has met the goals he's had since, I don't know, the age of 10. (Yep - this kid is THAT amazing - seriously, I have no idea how #5 got to be so well rounded as a human being - I suppose the rest of us took up all of the extreme corners of the universe and we needed a middle man?)

Brent had a meeting in Houston, we didn't know / forgot totally about the graduation ceremony until approximately 7pm the night before. I decided the babies and I would go for it - Mommom and Kyle would be there to help.

5am. Man, I so wish we'd gotten a room and been in BR already. Pumped, dressed, babies woke, dressed, car packed and on the road at 6:30. 2 hour drive begun. I felt reasonably good for 4 hours of sleep (courtesy of late night partying with Mary Louise), no coffee, no breakfast...ok - I knew my name, had my glasses on, and counted...1, 2, TWO babies in the back. My world was good. Driving continued.

Have I mentioned that Brent's work truck still hasn't come? No? right - so long story short: we sold his old truck to Mom for Sean, Brent had a loaner truck from his work, loaner truck broke - like totally, no fixing this hot mess broke, Brent began to drive our Sequoia and I borrowed my dad's old car (yes, it's still going) to use in emergencies and my for wildly involved social life (read as: I use the thing to get to the grocery and back). It has over 200k miles on it, no radio, the back driver's side door only opens from the inside, and one of the tail lights floods the trunk when you pop it. So, basically, it has a little personality. I call her Elsie May (Em for short- ha)...or piece of crap depending on my mood. As I said, it gets me where I need to go, and it's temporary...and the A/C works really well = WINNER!!

Point of the above warm and fuzzy tale? That's what we were driving- a 1998 Honda Accord - bless her big metal heart...I can't tell you how many nursery rhyme songs I busted out with - and made up- yesterday to keep the babies entertained. Mary Louise now thinks some fat kid lives in a hubbard and old ladies beat kids in shoes (she was crying in my ear again - WHAT?! like you would have come up with something different right??) We also thanked the Lord a few times for making fish and butterflies...I had to balance things out somehow.

We made it IN TIME - and Uncle Kyle came out of the ceremony to meet us, because I have a wee bit less than stellar sense of direction (more on that to come).

Though I only got to actually see about 15 minutes of the graduation, it was the important 15 minutes...Sean walked, I yelled like a super tacky banshee in a relatively quiet stadium. Sean heard me. My work was done for the day. At least I didn't have an air horn or pull out the old Arseneo Hall whoop whoop. (Maybe next time Sean)

During the rest of the 3 hour ceremony, I chased David mostly - and Mary Louise a little - and both of them for awhile. Don't worry, I wasn't alone. I was in the make shift day care of babies, bottle feeders, breast feeders, frazzled grandparents, tired dad's, aunts, uncles, smokers, drinkers (not really - but man, I might have made friends with that person!) and habitual all important cell users in the outer realm of the P. Mac (name of the building - you don't have to google it). So, I got to do a little bit of what I do best: people watch.

I'm pretty sure that there is no place on earth that is a better people watching set up than a graduation. I'm also pretty sure that the previous sentence is horribly written - but I digress...people watching at graduations: families with the elders in tow - stressed and happy at the same time- proud of the next generation's productivity and desperately wanting the older generation to take part as best they can. New moms and veteran moms shoved together - the veterans offering all knowing sympathetic smiles to the new moms who are actually still worried about the entire family being color coordinated and whether or not baby has his/her specially monogrammed spit cloth draped just write for which to puke upon. (oh, and then there are the uber judgey moms - like the one who gave me the stink eye while talking on her wildly fancy bedazzled phone, clutching her $1500 Louis Vitton bag and said pointing her freshly manicured finger at my AWESOME brood," see, THAT's why we left our kids at HOME." Thanks lady, pull that crap again and I might just stuff your over perfumed duff in my leaky trunk. Sometimes I must remind myself: people before things Heather, people before things.) I love watching dolled up momma's in 5 inch heels waddle after fast and furious toddlers as they touch every stinkin' unprotected outlet in the place (oh wait, that was me.)

Then, we did what any good southern family does to celebrate a life milestone - or to celebrate anything at all really...we ate. YUMMMM. The babies handled the day as best they could - there were no head banging incidents, no all out melt downs. A good time for all - but when we left, it was certainly time to get home asap.

Then we hit traffic...and the most awful, horrible, terrible, vile, heart wrenchingly, frustratingly, bad drive home EVER ensued. We did eventually make it home (I know, way to ruin the ending right?)...but only after 5 hours (it was supposed to take 2) of pure unadulterated hell on back roads. This story is totally deserving of it's very own post...


And by the way, I will get a breastfeeding post done - but just need to word vomit this out there to get it out of the wee noggin can only handle so much these days...


  1. Oh my!! What doesn't kill us makes us stronger??? .... or at least makes us dread the next long drive! Glad ya'll survived!

  2. Whoa. Traffic with kids stuck in their car seats is hell on earth. FYI-We call my son P-MAC. 1st letter of his first name, plus the McC from our last name :) Mitch said that Brent was in town for sales a while back--I'd love to have y'all over to be your "home base" if you ever need to come in to town while Brent makes his rounds :)

  3. What a bee-otch that woman with the Louis Vuitton purse was! If your phone call is so important that you had to leave the ceremony, you should have just stayed your happy a$$ home too! Anyway, congratulations to Sean!