hanging in there

I've had a bit of an off day today. I haven't been able to sleep well for the last 2 nights, napped too much during the day and gotten a bit muddled in my mental schedule. My blood pressure seems to be rising again - it's hanging around 140 over 90 since yesterday. I just spoke with my primary doctor who has decided not to change my meds right now out of concern for placental perfusion (the placentas are used to a certain pressure, dropping mine too low would cause blood to shunt away from them and reduce circulation for the babies). So, lack of sleep, feeling nervous about the tests pending for Sunday and Monday, I've had as I said a bit of an off day. I suppose it doesn't help that the weather is poor outside - I have a large window in my room and at my doctor's insistence, the blinds are open everyday which helps morale most of the time.

This is all very difficult for me - having absolutely no control at all. I am so used to fixing things for people. If there is no cure for their illness, I try to make their day better in some way. It occured to me today that the medical practitioners seem to know less about preeclampsia than cancer - such a discerning feeling. My doctor remains incredibly emapthetic which is nice. Sometimes he looks almost as frustrated as I do with the lack of available action. I thought this link might help for those who are interested. I think wikipedia was the other spot I found a good description. At any rate, it's interesting. http://www.preeclampsia.org/

Again, all of the support is so appreciated. The babies have been very active today which has been fun. I can feel them kick from the outside now - only with the big kicks or rolls though. Thank you for all of the feedback - glad to know this blog thing works and you all are able to stay informed. Will update again soon.