(Best) Face Forward

We said goodbye to Everett's unwanted little friend (the granuloma on his right cheek) this morning very (way too) early.


The pic above was from a month ago. The bump had almost doubled in size and I couldn't keep him from scratching it and causing it to bleed.

Everett did really well with the surgery. They were able to "gas him down" quickly, make a very small incision, remove the lump and some surrounding tissue for send off and close with 3 little stitches. I'll bring him back to the plastic surgeon in the morning just for a look-see to make sure everything is ok 24 hours post op.

Beyond recovering for a little over an hour, a reeeally grumpy wake up at 4am when he usually nurses...but couldn't much to his GREAT dismay, and a 3 hour catch up nap this afternoon, sweet Ev has been go go go as usual this afternoon.

Gracious thanks for the thoughts and well wishes. Hoping for some super uneventful healing and pathology results!

xo,
Heather

And to continue...

Everett and I went to the hematologist today for a follow up. Verdict: 3 more months of iron therapy. Boo on this. Good news: his numbers are improved. He is no longer anemic as far as his hemoglobin but is deficient in ferritin (iron stores). Simply put, he lacks stored iron. So, if he should need extra for any reason, it's not there. His dosing is the same. He's 24 pounds now (growing!!) and doing well otherwise - feisty as ever. The hematologist still believes this stems from his traumatic birth...I giggled as he and David marched to bed the other night: Everett in 2T footies and David in 3T. I predict they'll share shorts in the spring...

He has been talking more and more; demanding more and more; and doing everything he can to keep up with his big brother and sister. It's a little (very) overwhelming to watch the three of them play together. Mary Louise and David adore Everett and submit, albeit begrudgingly, to his every whim.

In the past few weeks, we have replaced our (commercial) downstairs heating and cooling unit, had issues with our kitchen faucet and the kids have braved a strep (ML) and cold (E and D) combo. One dog is on antibiotics for a skin issue and the other is on Prozac for, well, a noggin' issue.

Mary Louise and David started rehearsals yesterday for Rudolph - this year's civic ballet production. They are so cute. It's a bit of a mass chaos on stage but eventually kids part and leave sweet David searching for his sister...who typically tries to brush him off once before conceding to take his hand or at least let him follow her. They're both doing well with it all and (I think) loving the attention.

But busy is an understatement here. With all of the pressure, over booking, under sleeping, I still find little moments (when the kids are on stage or at the end of the night when Everett is nursing while falling asleep) to be grateful. The irony that this (happy) sort of busy even gets to me a little after all of the appointments, therapies and just plain organizational mess I've had over the past few years isn't lost on me. I finally have the luxury to think of things as optional - even though it's sometimes on a subconscious level.
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Some long over due pics:
There are few things that light up Everett's face as much as a simple ball and game of catch:

We did have a jackolantern this year...but the only little that would touch the "guts" was Everett:


Mary Louise on Halloween:

She spent the evening concerned that someone might need help and mistake her for a "real" doctor. She was so anxious about it that I had a hard time getting her to trick or treat at all. She made sure to tell anyone who would listen that she had not, in fact, finished "docca school" just yet and was therefore not qualified to be of assistance. Sweet baby. What a gift.
David, on the other hand:

promised he could absolutely save anyone and everyone from a blaze - no problem - you know, because that "dus what fire fighters do Mom". (I pretty much believe him. My hero.)
Typical:

Just because:

Betcha can't find David (group pic for Rudolph):


Back stage:






David's congratulatory reward:

Mary Louise's:

Truth be known, Mary Louise wanted flowers after each rehearsal as well.

They were so excited all of their grandparents and Uncle Kyle and Sean came to see "da big stage" performance. Mary Louise begged to see the final showing "from the chairs" and Uncle Kyle happily obliged. (David requested a "Supa Keer-oh show" that evening. Apparently, he'd had enough ballet for the day.)


This picture makes me laugh:

Doting uncles:


Good. Times.

xo,
Heather

The Impossible

Since Friday:

6 batches homemade cookies
plumber fixed kitchen sink
family pictures organized and done
3 bulk batches of granola
some light garden tending
attended a baby shower for a wonderful friend
2 hours of shopping ALONE at a store without carts!!
a few other home recipes made and done
laundry...there's always laundry...
market on Saturday morning
special order of bulk cookies delivered
dinner with family (out!! at a restaurant!!)
movies with family
meals cooked / cleaned
Brent cleaned the house (ah! be still my heart. Love.)
nursing, nursing, nursing the E man
running with David while he rides his bike a few miles (amazing right?)

I get 2 comments most often:
I don't know how you do "it".
You have your hands full.

The latter happened 13 times in 2 hours during a trip to a scarecrow festival at a nearby garden recently. 13 times. really. So, I obviously don't make "it" look easy.

The physical is that I get "it" done by making lists. By prioritizing, plugging away - one thing at a time. Crossing things off of a physical list gives me peace. I know...total nerd.

Perspective. Keeping things in perspective. Staying in the moment - focusing on the most mundane keeps life extraordinary. Though areas usually suffer (hello, blog - long time no see!), I am doing the best I can and enjoying those painfully sweet moments without worrying about obsessively recording. Looking back, I see happy. That is more than good enough.

Time is flying. It is racing by so fast that focusing on those tiny seconds is all I can do.

Business is going well for which I am so grateful. If anything, I am constantly trying to rein myself in - trimming grandiose ideas into neat and tidy "attainable today" goals.

Mary Louise and David are working on numbers and letters and doing well. We got some old school desks refinished with chalk board paint at a festival my elementary school has each year. We draw letters and numbers together on the desk tops, seats - all over. Something about drawing on furniture...never gets old! Everett keeps up with our lessons too - sounding out and imitating everything. He speaks in 2 to 3 word sentences often - extremely verbal and so sweet and polite saying "tank-oo" appropriately.

They are rarely in "street" clothes anymore - very deep into a massive dress up phase. We took them to raid the clearance costumes the day after Halloween. They literally spend hours (ummm...days. definitely days and if they had their way, nights too) as "Supa Keer-ohs" and "Docca- Bal-uh-weena-Pwinceses". Today I caught David, dressed as a police officer, doing a monologue in the mirror:

"Calm down boys and girls! Bo-weese opisuh Dabid is here!"
"You can buh-wax now. I won't gib you a ticket...(holds the brim of his hat and looks down his nose with a sly grin) un-wess you are doing sumping wong! he he heee"

The kids have all had growth spurts and are looking very long and lanky. Everett is breezing through clothing David wore last winter. We seem to suddenly have "young children" rather than babies. I'm sure, just like that, I'll be trying to catch my breath as I stare at adolescents and teens in a few years.

All amazing. All. Deciding to believe in "possible"...

xo,
Heather

True Story Thursday

David and I went to the American Apparel outlet while on vacation. At the check out counter, there were about 15 bins of sweat bands (think 1980's Rocky sort of things - because, clearly, the 80's styles need to come back 1. more. time. *sigh*).

David picks up a red, white and blue band. He put it on his head.

D: Yook Mom!! I have a head band! Dis means I work out. You work out Mom??
Me: Uhh. yes. I do David.
D: Yeah. I work out Mom! See? (he gets on the floor. I am a little stunned and grinning at the same time) I'm pushin' me up! Yook Mom!! I can push me up!! (he tries to do a push up but ends up looking like he's sort of break dancing)
Me: That's great David!! Look how strong you are! ... please get off the floor now Bub? (he does) (I scold my self internally for chancing ruining a moment because I saw a dust bunny roll across the floor as he...uh...pushed himself up. Dear self: please relax...a little...now a little more...your heart thanks you.)
D: I pushed me up because I have a head band. Could we take dis head band with us to our home Mom?
Me: David, I think it's 100% necessary to take that head band with us. Are you sure that's the color you want? (there were about 4 different green ones. Anyone who spends 5 minutes around David knows green is, hands down, that kid's "fa-bor-wit" color.)
D: I want DIS one Mom. DIS is da one I want!! (proudly wearing the red, white and blue)

We went to 2 other stores while at the outlets. David asked anyone who made eye contact with him if they worked out, and then demonstrated that he could "push me up" because of his head band. He walked with the swagger of John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.

When I tell you David rocks that sweat band I mean it with every fiber of my being. He is awesome. I wish I'd had even a third of that grounded confidence in myself and my decisions at his age - or anytime during my childhood. My sweet individual boy.


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**I started this post on Wednesday - but ended up spending all of Thursday cooking! So, it's a late "True Story Thursday"...apologies!**
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Everett's absolute favorite thing in the world right now (because you know, this can change next week - or in a few minutes really as all things toddlers go) is playing ball. He sees balls everywhere we go, points, grins and says, "ball". In our room on vacation, there were photos of a sunset over the bed. Every morning, Everett would wake up, look at the photos and say, "ball" with a HUGE grin.
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While in St. Augustine, my cousin Ashley was married. It was the first wedding Mary Louise and David had ever attended. They were fascinated. On the way home (after the reception) Mary Louise asked the following questions:
ML: why did Ash-wee have that big beautiful white dress on Mommy?
Me: it's a wedding dress baby. She was getting married and it's tradition that the bride wear white as it's a sign of purity.
ML: ok...
D: yeah - but dat dress dus dragged da ground! It's gonna get all dirty! she should pick dat dress off da ground!

ML: But why did Ash-wee throw dose beautiful flowers all over? They broke and fell on da floor. I would never throw beautiful flowers like dat!
Me: ummm...the person who catches the flowers is supposed to be next to marry...but I'm not sure how that started...
ML: (frowning) broken flowers dus make me sad...I would never throw my beautiful flowers...

ML: So Mommy, I wuv David...can I marry him one day?
Me: Well, David is your brother Meesey.
ML: yeah - but I wuv him so I can marry him right?
Me: well, not really. You choose a person to marry that is not in your family. They choose to be with you and you with them. David will always be there for you - he's your brother. That never changes. When you fall in love, you choose each day to be with that person and you choose to make that person your partner and part of your family...does that make sense?
ML: sort of...maybe a yittle bit?

******************

Ballet started the week we were gone, so for us, the first class was this week. Mary Louise is taking again - this time with David too! David asked almost every week if he could take classes with Mary Louise last year. After a little (too much) thought, and viewing amazing performances put on by the company, we decided to let him try things out.

My reservations were washed away by: 1. Mary Louise exclaiming over and over that she would show David the ropes such as how to stay on his dot. She promised she would help him to settle into the class. But most of all - 2. Mary Louise and David's faces as they came out of the class. They were the epitome of pride; the ultimate in satisfaction. In short, they became "big kids" the very moment they let go of my hand, embraced one another's and walked through that class door. They loved it and talked about it all the way home.

Let them do what they love. Let them do what they love. As long as there are more good days than bad, ballet classes will be in our routine. May they be limber and graceful, confident and balanced -with poise that makes others take pause and peace that passes understanding. May they experience all of that and more...while pretending to be any animal they wish as they dance across the floors of their ballet studio (which, from what I gather, is one of their class time practices). Most of all, may they transform and enjoy those moments of absolute freedom as they grow older, more aware and responsibilities increase. Go as far as you wish sweet babes. It's our privilege.
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Mary Louise was my "big helper" at market this morning. We went to a new farmers' market that is just a few blocks from our home. Brent and the boys walked over mid-day. Mary Louise and I got 2 solid hours between sales to chat.

ML: Mommy? Is that OUR ell-da-bur-we syrup right there?
Me: well, it's like ours, but it's to help others. We have some at home for you.
ML: I yike dat syrup.
Me: I'm glad Meesey...you take it every morning. I'm glad it tastes good.
ML: Me too Mommy. Why you making it for other people doe?
Me: Well, I like taking care of others. I found something that works for us and thought other people might like to know about it too. We all take care of one another. It's what people do.
ML: I stink you a good Mommy, Mommy.
Me: Thank you my Meese. That means an awful lot...

*grin* these moments, in all their glorious cheesey-ness and adorable fluffiness really do happen you know...and I smile every time...
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For those in our area (or not...I can ship a few things as needed or interest dictates), I now have a Downtown Naturals Facebook page. Keep up with all of our goings on - and our newest products - AND provide much wanted (and needed) feedback there! Business is going quite well - even in these very early learning stages and I'm excited to be adding a few things very soon!!

xo,
Heather

On the Mend

Everett and I made the hour+ drive to see his hematologist yesterday afternoon. There is a strict "one kid / 2 adults" policy there so Brent stayed behind with the big kids. We pulled in to the parking lot and I saw Everett shrink notably in his seat. My sweet baby boy...

I lifted him out of the car to my chest. He melted into my shoulder and wrapped his arms tightly around my neck. We entered via the double automatic doors. He gave me the best hug...ever. If I didn't know he was so nervous, I wouldn't feel quite so guilty saying how much I loved that moment...

We checked in and walked across with our lab paperwork. This place is one of the most efficient offices we've ever visited. Honestly - the most efficient. Somehow, there are no lines, people are patient, soft spoken and courteous. We were taken back immediately for Everett's blood tests.

About 30 seconds later, his vials of life were off and spinning. I had almost 2 hours to use before our appointment time.

We played outside, ate snacks, played in the car and made our way up to the doctor's office with 30 minutes to spare.

We stared at the fish tanks for a few minutes before being called back.

Everett LOVES the toys in those rooms. There are little classic wooden cars and activity cubes - all very clean and in pristine condition. He makes "vroooom" noises as he scoots the cars across the tables and chairs and giggles when they fly onto the floor.

The doctor came in with a smile. The blood work had just been printed and he had a chart comparing his results over time (1st draw, second, and the newest results).

He's improving!!! In fact, he's improving so fast, the doctor decreased his iron dose just a bit.

What does this mean????? Iron deficiency anemia. That's it!! Thalassemia is off the table and we'll continue with 3 more months of iron therapy while the unhealthy old red cells die off and healthy ones take their places.

Aaannnnd in other news: the sweet potato gained 2 pounds in 3 weeks!!

xo,
Heather

It's (not) all Greek

Remember that time someone told you that your red head / super fair child might have a genetic disorder that typically runs in Greek / Mediterranean families lines and you were all, "huh?!" and they were all, "yeah. I think so." and you said, "so what does that mean?" and they were like, "well, not much...unless he falls in love with one of those olive complected beauties and wants to have babies with her...I mean...he doesn't have any other symptoms of the disease...right?"

Enter description of symptoms:
bone deformities
brain damage
slow to gain milestones
signs of poor oxygenation
frequent severe illness
immune suppression

P.S. - the above isn't from Google - it was actually brought up and discussed during Everett's first and second blood draws.

Then that someone added:
"because his white count looks ok so I don't *think* it's Leukemia...but it might be lead poisoning so let's see how that test comes back...I'll get back with you in a few days on that one"

and then you were like, "wait...I just wanted a 12 month check up and am a little late..."

and they were all, "well, you should probably see a specialist."

Remember that time?

So, you cried and cried and stared at your sweet little *deceivingly* healthy baby for a few days before harassing the specialist's office to give you a dang appointment 5 days after the last blood work was done...because, let's be honest, 3 weeks with all of those possibilities would likely end in you stress eating yourself to death. "Therefore," you said, "the continuation of your family unit depended on you getting your bumpkin in there, like, asap?"

What about that time? Remember that?

Sadly, I do.

Letterhead with "HEMATOLOGIST / ONCOLOGIST" across the top that contained explicit instructions about the exact number of family members (2) that could enter the room with the patient and that they were to be adults - absolutely NO other children allowed during appointments (as well as the intake paperwork for new patients of course) arrived at our house over the weekend. I dreaded filling it out. I dreaded having another doctor contact in my phone. But most of all, I dreaded having a conversation with the man whose name was on that letterhead. I just didn't want him as part of our medical family. I'm not sure how else to describe it. I was shutting down. I just didn't want to hear anymore. Everett looked healthy (still does) and I flat didn't want to know anything else.

But, we went to the appointment.

We arrived in the parking lot of the specialty center, got Everett out of his seat - grinning, but worried as he'd just ridden an hour in the car with *only* his momma and daddy. (Mary Louise and David were home with Mommom who popped over after visiting family in Lafayette.) Kiddo knew something was up. I caught a glimpse of something pink on the parked car beside us: "In Memory of Meghan" with an angel underneath the wording. We were there...this was it.

I walked in and shuffled down the longest isle ever to bring the paperwork to the receptionist. (no seriously, the design of the waiting area, I swear, would insight panic in even the calmest of parents...maybe not...I'm high strung...there it is.)

I turned and went to the restroom. 1 private stall with a suspiciously comfy antique wooden chair in the corner. It appeared completely pristine but wreaked of vomit. This could not be our new home...

We were called back quickly and the nurse was amazingly sweet. Everyone was relaxed and caring. Everett was completely freaked out -but I did manage to get him interested in a few super cool toys that were around...and I'd brought markers - always a win!

The doctor sat down calmly. He looked over the paperwork and test results I'd brought (a good thing because the proper history sure wasn't faxed even though I'd confirmed with our pedi office it had been...they faxed blank results sheets???)

He asked me the following:
Why are you here?
Why were blood tests run in the first place?
What were the circumstances of Everett's birth?
What was his birth weight?
Any concerns before this?
Do you even have Greek or Mediterranean heritage?
How are you giving his medication?
Does he take it well?
How much is he getting?
Are you sure that's the concentration?

He went over the blood work step by step with me with this funny little smirk and SUPER calm demeanor the whole time. Then he said those golden words, "here's why I think Everett is just severely iron deficient...and why Thalassemia isn't likely"

Reasons stated:
He had a severely traumatic birth which included extreme stress and bleeding
He was slightly premature which means he missed out on at least 3 more weeks of iron stores he would have gotten from you (Heather) during a full term pregnancy

Me: so what about his age? Isn't it true that most 1 year olds are at least slightly anemic?

Dr.: yes - growth during the first year literally uses everything your body has...when else are you going to double (almost quadruple) your weight? Never...I mean, if you were 150 pounds and you suddenly grew to 450 pounds, you'd probably be anemic too, yes?

The doctor continued:
I see you gave the iron supplement for 2 weeks and saw minimal improvement. Everett is 9.9 kg today. The CORRECT low dose that I start severely anemic children at is 3mg / kg.

(Everett has been getting 15mg total per day. He SHOULD have been getting twice that per his weight.)

Please start him on 30mg and we'll recheck him in 3 weeks. Expect to keep him on the iron supplement for 3 months AFTER his blood work comes back at low normal - which I would expect to be at the 3 week mark. We can go up on his iron supplement dosage again if needed. He can have as much as 6mg /kg. I suspect his iron stores are nonexistent at this point so the 3 months following normal result should help his body to recover from this. What he is experiencing is something I would consider to be as normal per his history, age and growth. His red cells will remain small and deformed until he has healthy iron stores again (and wouldn't, alone, indicate Thalassemia).

See you in 3 weeks.

I wanted to hug him. Literally. Hug. I didn't. But I thought about it...and thought about yelling, "WTF" really loudly as well. Instead, I just sighed, kissed Everett on the forehead, hugged him closer and smiled at Brent.

The doctor also asked me if Everett was the baby of the family and if Mary Louise and David ever had anemia. (they didn't believe it or not) He said he did a study in 1995 and 9 out of 10 anemic children were the youngest in the family. He couldn't find the reason - it just was.

*Sigh*. I seriously couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. We'll go back to that same office in 3 weeks for repeat blood work. As long as it's normal, I believe we'll have another recheck 3 months later then done.

Thank you so much, again, for all who have checked on us and offered gracious thoughts and prayers. It is all very very much appreciated. I promise.

xo,
Heather

So, we joined a co-op!

Yep! That's right. We're what I would consider to be "deep" in that Kool-Aid...but we don't drink Kool-Aid...so don't miss the irony in the expression...

I'll be honest, Brent has been "importing" odds and ends from various locations throughout Louisiana since, well, since we moved the Lake Charles. We've always been foodies really - but the obsession hobby has certainly intensified with children, dietary restrictions, motivating health issues and learning in general. I LOVE food. But what's more, I love to know exactly what's in the food I'm eating - where it comes from, how it was grown, how to use it best to maintain greatest nutrition. I love starting with raw ingredients and making something beautiful, boxless, delicious, and satisfying. If there is a processed food that I'm thinking I can't get around, I learn about it - the processing to achieve that finished product. After that, I think about making it myself, cutting it altogether or only using very sparingly. Learning about our food from start to finish - including how our bodies process it once eaten - has helped me to cut portion sizes, enjoy each bite, and to simply listen to what I'm craving in terms of nutrients over food products.

The kids do what they see. It's that simple here. So, we try our best to stay on the fresh whole foods train (and of course derail on occasion and as necessary).

Anyhow, the co-op. So, my immediate thought about food co-ops: bunch of granola hippies. (and I mean that in the most affectionate, playful non-negative way if you're sitting there all puffed up with the hair on your legs standing on end. Sniff some lavender and embrace the humor. I'm in this with you...minus the body hair...)

I'm not here to clear the stereotype. Stereotypes are typically earned over time. They don't apply to everyone in a group - usually the loudest - but they do apply...digress digress...stay on task...

There was an Azure Standard drop organized about 20 minutes away from us. I looked into it. Actually, you can too. Just go here and you can browse their offerings yourself. You can also order without a drop near you but you're limited to non-perishable items and you'll have to pay shipping without a co-op. Anyhow, I opted to try it out and see how it would go.

Our order was dropped today. I wish I would have had a camera...because I kind of got tickled at the scene.

So, most of the pick up people were, of course, mothers. Mothers with kids - lots of kids - some had 5 little ones following like ducklings in a row - each waiting for Mother's orders to help with a box. There were a few men picking up - but we'll leave those sweet boys out for now because the women totally dominated.

Large 18 wheeler truck - 1 young (man) driver hops out. Mass of women hover around with black sharpie names on white papers as if we're all waiting to pick up a mega famous super star. I picture us screaming and fainting for a minute and smile to myself. The fact that most of the group is so straight faced and serious only makes it more comical to me. Man gives out clear, concise order information. I'm rather dazed (still making up stories in my head) and ML and D are dancing around my legs begging to play on a nearby swing set. I don't hear a thing. I ask the lead Mom in Charge (that's her official title...not really - but it fits). She graciously reiterates and organizes me, my kids and my things. I think I should get my ***t together for next time maybe - or just continue to be *that* mom...it's not so bad...I don't think I can be quite as zealous as the "unloader moms" so I might as well just stand and allow our order to fall at my feet. I think I might have adult ADD...I had this problem in school too...thank goodness for clinical experience...co-op...stay focused.

I'm sad I forgot my coffee on the kitchen counter.

I grab a few of our boxes. Of course I try too many at first and ML and D are miffed because they are all too heavy for them to carry. They still want to play on the swings anyhow and begin a wind up I can see from about 2 miles out. I walk faster with the boxes toward our vehicle. They get louder. I fumble one box and leave it in the grass for a minute so I can get the kids tucked in and the other box put away. We make it just in time for them to crawl back into their seats with just a few whines and sighs. A man saw that I was having trouble and gracious brings the stray box to me. I thank him and haul what's left at the drop site to the car. It's 9am and 90 degrees with 100% humidity. I wore work out clothes and wet hair. Win.

Everett was sleeping when we left and I know he's waking now and probably yelling, "nuh nuh NUH!!!" Brent is probably trying to give him water and snacks. Everett is probably throwing them back in his face. Literally. Sure enough, they're waiting at the back door when I drive up.

I bring the boxes in as Brent and the kids watch. Brent is excited (for me- ha - he has no idea what's in said boxes. Sweet man is just excited because I am.) He helps me divide items and doesn't even ask what in the world I plan to do with 5 pounds of organic wheat germ. He does ask, however, how often "this truck" will be in town - ha.

I mention that I'll make some granola. Brent grins and says he's going to work unless I need something else. He likes my homemade granola. Everett yells, "NUH NUH!" while doing the sign for milk. It's the only sign he knows...and that makes me laugh.

The items are wonderful by the way- packaged and shipped at proper temps and delivered perfectly. The whole pick up took about an hour - and over half of that was driving to and from the drop site. Far easier than grocery shopping and I didn't have to bother Brent for anything.

That, my friends, is (us) participating in a co-op (in case you've ever wondered about such). I'm off to organize and make some granola with flax and chia...because, you know, I have stereo types to maintain.

xo,
Heather