January: Pregnant with hope, anticipation, anxiety, happiness and of course 3 precious babes...quitting the job I loved to try and keep them safe...selling the Jeep I adored and buying a used Sequoia to try to make room...having the most amazing baby shower (seriously-this thing was like a small wedding reception) I could have ever dreamed of...hearing Brent tell me I was beautiful - over and over...being admitted to the hospital at 20 weeks - on March 19th - only to be told that the odds of bringing home even one baby were slim to none - much less the 3 I had kicking in my (40+ week measuring) belly...clarity, focus on nothing but enjoying each moment I had left with my little ones safe and warm...the fastest, most horrific yet amazing month I would venture to say I'll ever have...seeing firsthand just how much an unbelievable amount of meditation and prayer can do...
April 19th: a MAJOR operation...3 babies...first thought, "put them back!!!"...first feeling - gut-wrenching pain (emotional over physical)...feeling lucky to say, "hello" to baby Kuylen...saying, "goodbye"...pumping (I kid you not) every 2 hours without fail for a full 2 weeks in an effort to get my milk in (seriously, I think Brent could have produced breastmilk at that point)...feeling the grass under my feet and the sunshine above for the first time in just over a month...being able to touch David's hand for the first time when he was a few days old...the first time I left the hospital grounds in almost 2 months was to go to the funeral home with Brent to sign paperwork for Kuylen...the heartbreak and fear I felt when I learned David needed an operation at just 10 days old when he was still under a pound...fogging up his isolette window with tears begging him to pull through and promising him that if he would just produce wet, dirty diapers and breathe on his own, we'd be the proudest parents EVER!!! (a promise I still stick to today)...holding Mary Louise for the first time on mothers' day...holding David for the first time almost a month later...going to Damon's law school graduation just a day or 2 after getting mastitis, pumping in the car on the way...holding both babies (at the same time)just before I left to help make arrangements for Mommom...loosing so much more than a grandmother...it's June now...
Transferring to another hospital with David for his eye surgeries - something we were so hoping we'd not have to do...being absolutely overwhelmed by the immense support of family, friends, strangers, work colleagues, distant relatives and many many more...ahh - beautiful humanity- you don't get enough credit...running after Mary Louise like a mad-woman in the parking lot and hospital when she was transferred in (ha - I still laugh about that)...getting the baby's footprints and a photo taken by their nurses for Brent's birthday...Mimi and Granddaddy coming to the NICU to see the babies for the first time...the babies reaching 4 pounds...having to sit and watch the EMS crew load David up and transfer him back - because he needed to gain another 1/2 pound before coming home...getting to take Mary Louise home from the New Orleans area - the loooooong drive and how well she did...stopping to breastfeed just off the interstate (ha again)...seeing a baby in this house for the first time...David coming home one week later...
August through December is quite a blur - filled with diaper change after diaper change...too many (good) sleepless nights to count...colic babies...colic babies...colic babies...the dreaded reflux...Mary Louise being put back on oxygen for one month - and how wonderful it was to see her face again the day she got to get rid of it!...seeing us all on the couch TOGETHER for the first time...remembering tiny Kuylen with pride, sorrow, and grateful peace...still being is complete awe of the support of our friends, family and not so complete strangers (anymore)...visits from family and friends in which we never left the house - just stayed here and played with our little ones for days!...David's babbles and coos...Mary Louise rolling for the first time...first cereal!
And finally - this year I've gained 75 pounds and lost 62 (ha - never thought I'd say that!)...I've re-prioritized - many times- but never changed my top ranking "family" spot...Brent and I have been through some of the most difficult, tumultuous heartache I think anyone can go through and have come out much much closer than I NEVER realized we could be...I've learned more lessons than I wanted to learn, aged more than I wanted to age - both spiritually, mentally and (gulp) physically - but I aim to do a little something to fix the latter - however, I hold each moment, each experience in my heart as a contributor to the bigger picture of what we are - a family - and I look forward to see what this next year will bring.
Wishing everyone a very happy holiday season and happy happy new year!
xo,
Heather
Thursday, December 31, 2009
What a week
We have had my mom and youngest brother (Sean) here all week as Sean has had some MD appointments here in town. This weekend, Collin should be making a pass through as well. The babies are doing well with the visitors as we make sure to keep their schedule constant regardless of what we have going on otherwise. They are getting a bit more mobile each day - working on rolling, and the newest sensation...army crawls which Mary Louise is working very hard to do. They seem to have figured out that if they want "that toy", all they need to do is find a way to move their little bodies over to get it!
They are also getting more and more interested with what we have on our plates, in our hands, etc. Starting solids is not that far off I'd say...Brent and I have long discussed getting back to our almost vegetarian, low sodium diets we maintained prior to THE pregnancy. Looks like our day of reckoning is coming sooner rather than later. It's very important to us to set a good example for our little ones. We aren't far off now - but definitely need to "trim the fat" so to speak in a few more areas.
So we've been quite busy here and it doesn't seem to be slowing down anytime soon. I often feel that there simply aren't enough hours in the day to get things done. I must stop in the moments that I'm overwhelmed, take a deep breath, re-focus and see the smiles on the little ones' faces - the laundry can wait - there's tummy time to be had.
xo,
Heather
They are also getting more and more interested with what we have on our plates, in our hands, etc. Starting solids is not that far off I'd say...Brent and I have long discussed getting back to our almost vegetarian, low sodium diets we maintained prior to THE pregnancy. Looks like our day of reckoning is coming sooner rather than later. It's very important to us to set a good example for our little ones. We aren't far off now - but definitely need to "trim the fat" so to speak in a few more areas.
So we've been quite busy here and it doesn't seem to be slowing down anytime soon. I often feel that there simply aren't enough hours in the day to get things done. I must stop in the moments that I'm overwhelmed, take a deep breath, re-focus and see the smiles on the little ones' faces - the laundry can wait - there's tummy time to be had.
xo,
Heather
Sunday, December 27, 2009
A Merry Little Christmas
So we expected 6, cooked for 12 and only had 3...Brent's family didn't make it to us this Christmas as Ma Mere was concerned that she may be coming down with something. Though we were disappointed that they couldn't make it, we set out to enjoy the day at any rate.
Damon (my older brother) was here for a few days. We cooked, visited, played with babies, walked, chatted, and really had ourselves a Merry Little Christmas (as trite as that sounds). Brent and I had done pretty much all of the cooking during the 2 days before so on Christmas day, we popped the turkey in and were done! The rest of the day, we lounged, opened the wonderful gifts we had here and just enjoyed our little family.
Mary Louise and David did not take a decent nap for almost 3 days however with all the excitement of presents and people so yesterday, when all was quiet, they both fell fast asleep for some of the longest naps they've taken since they've been home! (I took advantage and Brent graciously conceded to let me sneak off and take a much needed nap myself at that time!)
David gave us the gift of eating on his own - holding the spoon and proudly slopping cereal on his nose, eye and finally in his mouth. He is such a hard worker! Mary Louise is getting interested once again in rolling over. She did it front to back again yesterday and of course looked at me as if it was nothing special afterward.
David eating...
We had a really nice surprise visit from Brent's very good friend Shane and his parents on the 26th. As Shane lives out of town now, we see him on rare occasions but are always so glad when he drops in!
We look forward to the rest of my brothers making it here in the next week or so. Collin is in from his island medical school and as we don't travel well, has agreed to make the trip here to see us instead! It will be so nice and such a rare treat to see him.
Hope everyone had wonderful holidays, a very Merry Christmas and is planning a Happy New Year!
Oh and I almost forgot - the excitement of the day was the oven catching on fire! Ha - I put the sweet potatoes in to warm but the turkey had apparently dripped a bit earlier in the day. Just after I put the potatoes in, the bottom of the oven caught fire. Possibly the best part was my ridiculous reaction...I stared at it for a second (delayed), closed the oven door (denial), waved my hands overhead (completely non-productive), and pointed at the closed oven while yelling, "there's a fire in there - come quick - I don't know what to do!" (ha- alarmist). So, obviously, I will not be a fire fighter any time soon. Way to save the day Heather. Thankfully, Damon walked up, blew on it - and it went right out - nothing hurt.
Photos...
xo,
Heather
Damon (my older brother) was here for a few days. We cooked, visited, played with babies, walked, chatted, and really had ourselves a Merry Little Christmas (as trite as that sounds). Brent and I had done pretty much all of the cooking during the 2 days before so on Christmas day, we popped the turkey in and were done! The rest of the day, we lounged, opened the wonderful gifts we had here and just enjoyed our little family.
Mary Louise and David did not take a decent nap for almost 3 days however with all the excitement of presents and people so yesterday, when all was quiet, they both fell fast asleep for some of the longest naps they've taken since they've been home! (I took advantage and Brent graciously conceded to let me sneak off and take a much needed nap myself at that time!)
David gave us the gift of eating on his own - holding the spoon and proudly slopping cereal on his nose, eye and finally in his mouth. He is such a hard worker! Mary Louise is getting interested once again in rolling over. She did it front to back again yesterday and of course looked at me as if it was nothing special afterward.
David eating...
We had a really nice surprise visit from Brent's very good friend Shane and his parents on the 26th. As Shane lives out of town now, we see him on rare occasions but are always so glad when he drops in!
We look forward to the rest of my brothers making it here in the next week or so. Collin is in from his island medical school and as we don't travel well, has agreed to make the trip here to see us instead! It will be so nice and such a rare treat to see him.
Hope everyone had wonderful holidays, a very Merry Christmas and is planning a Happy New Year!
Oh and I almost forgot - the excitement of the day was the oven catching on fire! Ha - I put the sweet potatoes in to warm but the turkey had apparently dripped a bit earlier in the day. Just after I put the potatoes in, the bottom of the oven caught fire. Possibly the best part was my ridiculous reaction...I stared at it for a second (delayed), closed the oven door (denial), waved my hands overhead (completely non-productive), and pointed at the closed oven while yelling, "there's a fire in there - come quick - I don't know what to do!" (ha- alarmist). So, obviously, I will not be a fire fighter any time soon. Way to save the day Heather. Thankfully, Damon walked up, blew on it - and it went right out - nothing hurt.
Photos...
 |
| Christmas 2009 |
xo,
Heather
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Precious moments
I just love watching Mary Louise and David interact. They have such sweet moments with one another- playing, "chatting", holding hands, exploring their surroundings. They seem to comfort one another as well.
I got a few photos of them - a difficult task as they are mesmerized by cameras and the sounds they make.
Cooking for Christmas 2009 is well underway here. Hopefully, it will turn out nicely - if not, at least I know we'll have good company.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
xo,
Heather
I got a few photos of them - a difficult task as they are mesmerized by cameras and the sounds they make.
 |
| dec 23 2009 |
Cooking for Christmas 2009 is well underway here. Hopefully, it will turn out nicely - if not, at least I know we'll have good company.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
xo,
Heather
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Miss Mary Louise
So, our little Mary Louise is determined to use a spoon - all by herself!...
She's doing such a great job!! David is eating very well from a spoon too - just not as interested in doing it by himself yet. He is, however, very interested in playing with the keyboard on his Leap Frog learning table and with how things work - he seems to study and analyze everything while Mary Louise does more of the shaking and throwing of things. (wild woman!) Yesterday, Mary Louise also surprised me when I went to pick her up - she put her hands out in a "hold me" stance!
They just learn more and more each day - so exciting to see what this day will bring!
xo,
Heather
She's doing such a great job!! David is eating very well from a spoon too - just not as interested in doing it by himself yet. He is, however, very interested in playing with the keyboard on his Leap Frog learning table and with how things work - he seems to study and analyze everything while Mary Louise does more of the shaking and throwing of things. (wild woman!) Yesterday, Mary Louise also surprised me when I went to pick her up - she put her hands out in a "hold me" stance!
They just learn more and more each day - so exciting to see what this day will bring!
 |
| Sean's Visit Dec 2009 |
xo,
Heather
Monday, December 21, 2009
hubby of the year!
I went to run a few errands this afternoon - they (of course) took much longer than expected. When I got home, Brent was on the sofa with the babies - a proud grin on his face. He had (after a full day of work) taken them on a walk, bathed them and readied them for bed, gave them their medicines, and was feeding them "dinner"!!
Thank you so much Brent for all of your work.
I'm (once again and always) a lucky girl.
xo,
Heather
Thank you so much Brent for all of your work.
I'm (once again and always) a lucky girl.
xo,
Heather
eww cooties...
With the peak of RSV and flu season fast approaching we are renewing our efforts to quarantine our little ones from illness of any kind - but especially respiratory bugs. If they get even a tiny cold, it would be likely to land them right back in the hospital and very quickly on a ventilator with their present lung condition (they have chronic lung disease).
Accordingly, upon entering our home visitors will be required to remove their shoes or use the hospital grade cleaning wipes that I have here to clean the soles. There will under no circumstances be any shoes allowed in the playroom - this is really the only place the babies are put on the floor right now. Immediate and proper handwashing is a must - followed by the antibacterial gel we have by the sink. Proper handwashing means rubbing your hands together vigorously for the amount of time it takes to sing "Happy Birthday" twice.
Please do not "get in" the babies' faces, put their hands in your mouth (they grab at faces an awful lot now) or put your hands in their mouths (umm - they also attempt to put everything in their mouths).
Only healthy adults who have not been ill nor been around anyone else who was ill for the previous 10 days will be allowed to visit. This means as long as that "little cough" or "just a sniffle" lingers, our door is closed.
It is one of my greatest wishes that these babies prove their momma a complete over-protective lunatic. I will (I promise) wear the title proudly if it means that they stay healthy and thereby allow their lungs the best possible chance at healing. We are hoping to relax a little in the spring / summer months but for now are remaining vigilant in our efforts to keep our babies home and healthy.
We are so thankful for the support and compliance thus far and feel that we truly are doing what's best for our little ones - no matter how hard and isolating it is for us to keep them under wraps.
Much love and happy holidays to all.
xo,
Heather
Accordingly, upon entering our home visitors will be required to remove their shoes or use the hospital grade cleaning wipes that I have here to clean the soles. There will under no circumstances be any shoes allowed in the playroom - this is really the only place the babies are put on the floor right now. Immediate and proper handwashing is a must - followed by the antibacterial gel we have by the sink. Proper handwashing means rubbing your hands together vigorously for the amount of time it takes to sing "Happy Birthday" twice.
Please do not "get in" the babies' faces, put their hands in your mouth (they grab at faces an awful lot now) or put your hands in their mouths (umm - they also attempt to put everything in their mouths).
Only healthy adults who have not been ill nor been around anyone else who was ill for the previous 10 days will be allowed to visit. This means as long as that "little cough" or "just a sniffle" lingers, our door is closed.
It is one of my greatest wishes that these babies prove their momma a complete over-protective lunatic. I will (I promise) wear the title proudly if it means that they stay healthy and thereby allow their lungs the best possible chance at healing. We are hoping to relax a little in the spring / summer months but for now are remaining vigilant in our efforts to keep our babies home and healthy.
We are so thankful for the support and compliance thus far and feel that we truly are doing what's best for our little ones - no matter how hard and isolating it is for us to keep them under wraps.
Much love and happy holidays to all.
xo,
Heather
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