Back to Our Routine

Mary Louise performed for the school system on Friday morning. There were 2 performances with about 1700 school children viewing each one - wow. is all I can say. She did absolutely beautifully with it all. We were there for about 5 hours - in makeup - in and out of costume - a room full of 3 through 5 year olds. No one got hurt, there were few clashes at all in fact. The "big kids" helped with the younger kids and were very proud to be able to contribute their older sibling skills to the cause.

There were 2 mothers for each age on Friday - it was hard, but I feel very lucky to have been able to be there for our sweet girl. I don't say it near enough, but the fact that Brent and I are able to have me home is one of our greatest blessings. He makes so much possible by shouldering the finances of our household...and for him to come home from work, kiss us all and tell me, "thank you for taking care of our children today," is indescribable. We are always working to improve our routine and duties...but I think it's so important to point out that I am never working alone...digress...digress...back to the story...

Getting their costumes together - ML with her friend Allie:


getting a "yittle bit ner-bus Mommy":


on stage during rehearsals:


Playing with the "big girls" back stage:


She's a "joiner". Mary Louise had no problem at all moving in and out of the little circles of girls back stage and asking to play with them. She figured out, through this process, that she could ask others their names - and learned how to respond with hers. She proudly got to know the names and personalities of many of her classmates and confidently let me know if anyone was nervous or upset.

To think of just how far we've come...and now I'm gushing about this kid's dancing and social skills...sigh...there really aren't any words...

She was 10 days old here - I'm about to change her diaper (no, that's not gauze in my hands):


Just before going on stage - she wanted me to hold her hand:


On Saturday morning, she performed in the matinee show. Brent, David, Uncles Collin, Kyle and Sean and Mommon were able to make it. They came in late Friday night after work and school and left after lunch on Saturday - but I think they were glad they came despite the hard trip between work and school schedules (I know ML was so excited to have them watching "in da chairs". Sadly, Mere and Pops had planned a trip before I even knew about the Christmas ballet...but I'm sure Mary Louise will gladly offer an encore performance of twirls the next time we get to see them!

She looked a little nervous waiting in the wings just before her very last dance. She had to switch sides of the stage at the last minute and was a little disoriented with a new classmate in front, and behind her. But, when her music started to play, she painted on a sassy, slightly awkward stage smile and did her thing...and believe me, it was certainly all her!

She did really well with the routine during the beginning - then it was time for the twirls.

This sweet baby girl LOVES the twirl. She does turns at home around and around, gets dizzy, runs into doors and walls, reorients, twirls again. She asks to wear dresses everyday and gets upset if the skirt on the dress isn't ample enough to float out and up while she twirls. Twirling machine that one...

So, when it was time to twirl on stage for the last time, she started going and just didn't stop. She spun round and round and round again. She would get a little dizzy, stop for a second or 2, then get going once more. I was waiting back stage and had a side view of it all. I heard the giggling in the audience, but couldn't see all that was happening. Brent gave me the play by play later. She twirled until the end of the song then stopped. The 3 girls before her had gone off stage - I couldn't figure out why there was a break in the line and was trying to get "all angels" back to their dressing room and out of the way. Mary Louise apparently stopped spinning, grinned, took a bow, folded her hands in angel (prayer) fashion, and pranced away!

Brent got a text message from a friend who was also somewhere in the audience waiting to see his daughter: "Gee, let me guess. That one's yours?"  Brent proudly responded: "you know it!"

I probably don't have to say it, but I will for the "official record's" sake none the less. Everett was a gem through it all. He pretty much lived in my Ergo carrier this past week. He napped, he was quiet while the girls were on stage, he grinned, he nursed, he ate Puffs, and he played. He was (and is) a happy happy baby - but was so very ready for some tummy time when we got home!!


and the big Bubba lovies weren't so bad either:






Everyone was absolutely on best behavior throughout the week. After it was all said and done though, Mary Louise was quite over the make up application process:


Ha: typical moment for a family pic: "Mary Louise! get out of the flowers...No David! You are not to jump off a wall - you could hurt yourself!" (Everett was sleeping believe it or not)


And don't think we had to bring little miss back down to earth when we did get home - she got straight to it in her "kitchen" (playground):

"baking" mud pies:


From this:




To this:




In seconds. Literally.

That's my Meese.

Brent reported that David really enjoyed the whole ballet as well. He sat with Uncle Collin and watched everything for the whole (just over an) hour performance. It really was a sweet production - a southwest Louisiana themed Christmas: "Christmas in Louisiana".

Now we're resting up and calming down. I'm happy to say that we don't have any lessons today. The kids' music class session ended and another won't start up until after the holidays. We're just enjoying a little down time now before things pick up once more. Eye appointment time is coming around - always a major trip for us.

Until then, Cecil - our Elf on the Shelf - is working hard (perhaps overtime) reporting off to Santa about Mary Louise and David's behavior.


So far, they'll be very pleased (I think) on Christmas morning!

xo,
Heather

David's Angel

Mary Louise had another rehearsal last night. It was from 4 to 6 which is usually our "dinner / bath / story" time. Brent worked a little late and David was really needing some one on one ta ta time so he went to our neighbor's house for dinner. She's very nice - lives by herself and loves the kids to come for a visit every so often. Last night, David "helped" her bake a cake and they made cookies together.

When we all got home, it was a rush to get food in bellies and ready everyone for bedtime before major melt downs began. In the middle of the muddle, David sort of decided to sit on the potty...ok - it went a little like this:

Brent (changing a dirty diaper): C'mon man. You've gotta start at least TRYING to use the potty. Just try it - if you need to go, try to go to the potty. It's time David. You know you're going.

David: No stanks. My can't want to go to da potty.

They were both sort of right...David does know when he's going - at least when it comes to pooping. He even knows how to isolate his abdominal muscles when it's "time". He does, however, associate the actual toilet with unpleasantness related to a history of chronic gastric issues, medications, surgeries and discomfort. This is our hurdle - and right now, he "dus can't want" to let his history go.

Anyhow, after a bit of fussing, and walking around without a diaper. David came to me with a worried look and request: Mommy? My need a diaper pweese.

Me: no, I think we should go together and try to use to potty.

David protested. I won - and by that I mean I got to sit on the floor of the bathroom thinking of ways to praise the act of pooping as the designated defecation cheer leader. Awesome.

We sat for the better part of an hour. David was exhausted - but cooperating so I went with it. He got up 3 times, and 3 times came back for another "go".

There he was, eyes drooping, but still trying. He was doing everything he was supposed to - and I asked if he was ready to quit for the night - praising his efforts and saying we would take up where we left off tomorrow. Then, the strangest, most striking words came out of that child's mouth. He was still sitting on his (uhem) throne but just about ready to give into starting the rest of his bed time routine:

David: Mommy? My angel said I need to go to sleep now. (he'd just returned from a walk to the kitchen for another round of "Can he FINALLY use the dang toilet????")

Me: (slowly - I'm sure with shock on my face - oddest feeling) Well your angel might be right - but can you tell me where you saw your angel? (heart pounding)

David: In da window. He has all kinds of colors - yike my no-fake.

Me: really? colors?

David: yeah. Colors - yike da no-fake arm-a-ment from Mere.

(Mere gave the kids some pretty little snow flake ornaments that act as prisms. They loved hanging them on the tree - and love to look at the colors they throw when the light is just right.) I had called for Brent who was now in the door way.

Brent: What's going on?

Me: David said his angel told him to go to sleep now.

Brent: Sounds like my kind of angel.

Me: David can you tell Daddy about your angel?

David: (a little annoyed about repeating) he's colored like my NO-FAKE!

Brent: so it's a boy angel? What's his name?

David: Yeah - he's just yike me. He's angel Da-bid.

Even after Brent pointed out that (bear with me) David's name was in fact David, David still assured us that his angel was "just like him", had told him "to go to sleep now" and was named "Angel David".

I could force a fit in so many ways with this...but I need the story to just be written like it happened for now. If it never happens again, if Angel David is never again mentioned, we had our moment. I know, right then, we were a family - toilet and all. ha.

P.S. no - David is not any more interested in potty training today than he was yesterday - or any other time he's refused to take his "rightful spot". In fact, as it's been in the 80's here lately, if you see a bare bottomed little boy running around our yard and playing in the hose, never you mind. It simply means I dus can't want to clean another super stinky man poop off my kid and just need a break. ***sigh*** I haven't forgotten my NICU promise though - I'm still proud he can poop at all. Yes. Proud - so no mistaking my mild frustration for anything other than, "I know you - I know you can do this. Please know yourself and know that you can do this, David. You can (succeed) - but you have to make the decision to try."

xo,
Heather

She's an Angel!

Mary Louise is an angel in this year's Lake Charles Civic Ballet Christmas production. She couldn't be more excited! (truth be known - nor could I) We started rehearsals Saturday - and as if written on her life's schedule, her runny nose and sneezing started today. Things are going well -and I'm maintaining hope that we'll manage through the rest of the rehearsals and this weekend's school and public performances. But the snots are a bit concerning to say the least...

Saturday was sweet Meese's first day in make-up. They are required to be "in full dress" for all rehearsals so I donned a little color on her eyes and cheeks, a little mascara on her ridiculously long lashes, and let baby girl peer in the mirror. The sass? oh my. Brent's reaction? uncomfortable, teary, fussy - he didn't take the "grown up" look (or the extra sass) well at all. David didn't help - he pined mercilessly for the attention begging for "dus a yittle yip stick pweeeeese!?". I gave him a chap stick tube to hold and he was pacified.

What was the fuss about???


good golly.


I adore her.

She loves performing. Today, during rehearsals, she danced between the rows of seats each time music played. She tried to imitate the older performers and twirled and twirled. I was enthralled with watching her - her smile - but most of all, her seething confidence. That child KNOWS she is stunning - and I never want her to loose that. Ever. May she always be lifted up by those around her - and should they waiver, may she find the strength within herself to not just persevere, but soar. May she always know her enormous worth and truly believe that she can do anything she chooses.

She's second from the right in line - she bows very militantly at the manger and takes her place. She's sideways the whole time because she's fixed on her teacher who was demonstrating her routine backstage. Sweet baby - I've had to watch this a ridiculous number of times in an effort to desensitize myself so as not to embarrass her with my proud tears in front of her friends. I'll admit, so far my efforts have failed - I couldn't help but tear as she took the stage today...ugh. such a sap.


If you can't see her really well, double click on the video and it should bring you directly to the you tube upload. It doesn't fit properly on the blog format and I'm not sure how to fix it...

My Facebook status quote of the week:

Went a different way home from ballet class. This upset Mary Louise who has a far better sense of direction than her dimwit Momma. We made it home nonetheless. Mary Louise: Mommy!! You found our home! You're a GENIUS!!! GENIUS Mommy!! My soo pwoud of you! Me: Thank you Mary Louise. That was very sweet. ML: You welcome Mommy. Anytime. (Really? Really. Awesome. My home life is a classic Freudian study. I gave birth to my mother)

and this one - it's from Nov. 16th - but I'm not sure I've mentioned it yet...

Brent: Mary Louise, if you don't stop whining, you will not get any more nice new clothes and pretty things. Ml: but Daddy! It's in my blood to want nice cwothes and pwetty things!!! (ok. It's worse than I thought...)

xo,
Heather

St. Augustine Thanksgiving

I am thankful. So very thankful. Thankful for our immeasurable blessings, our perspectives, our experiences. I am thankful for them all. At my heart's very center is always my family. The definition and members have changed over the years. We have seen more stable days. We have been less broken, less hurt...we have been happy - so blindingly happy...and so crushingly hurt. But the bottom line has always been: we've been together; and I love that.

A few (like 5 - ok. exactly 5) years ago, St. Augustine was a vacation spot for our family. It's where my grandparents live. It's where my dad grew up. It has been the one week during each year that we simply "veg" on the beach after a ridiculously long drive. We put our toes in the sand, and let the waves wash away the stresses and cares...and we make memories. I love the smell of the water, the sound of the church bells, the drive onto Anastasia Island as we cross the Bridge of Lions and view the postcard scene including an ancient fort and countless yachts. I love the lighthouse peering up in black white and red splendor watching over the little town (that's not so little anymore).

Today, St. Augustine is saturated with my memories - and though I make new ones each time I travel there, it's the old ones that keep me coming back...

I visit my dad:


I introduce him to our babies and imagine him watching them grow...


I am thankful for the physical place to reflect and know, in some way, he's always there - waiting for us to appear...


My sweet and feisty Granny got to meet Everett for the first time:


He was quickly dubbed "my little Grin-Pot" and shined as a snuggly smell good heap of baby:


Mary Louise and David got to spend time with their cousins - including Connor (7) who became a fast favorite with our big kids (she let them play with her Barbies and Brandon - another cousin brought over some Legos - our kids thought they were just spoiled to no end!):


I took these photos of E and B - 2 of my greatest loves:




St. Aug, this past year, became a place to visit my grandfather...in a new way...


Mary Louise and David (respectfully) played in the memorial garden for almost an hour one morning. I pictured the "elders" smiling great warm smiles with the littles playing a giggling all round.







We explored downtown:



We danced in courtyards:




We picked up sticks:



We used Uncle Sean as a jungle gym:

(Everett was desperate to join)

My cousin Katie and her mom and grandmother came for a visit - more cousin time is always a win!




and Katie takes pictures - I mean really awesome pictures:









and sometimes our kids don't eat organic...or raw...


and that's ok - because they have the knowledge base to know that variety (even little treats) are honestly the spice of life. (ok - that's more a statement for me than you.)
St. Augustine has always been a place I've gone to vacation and visit family. I guess it doesn't really matter that some of the most important family I'm visiting is no longer visible. I know they're there. I'm thankful that I have that - and for the years they were physically in front of me. I appreciated them then - and adore them just as much now. The town itself has become my family. Our ashes grow the flowers...and that makes me smile.

We had a lovely time.

No visit across the deep south would be complete without a night at Mere and Pops. When the kids were starting to get antsy, we pushed it an extra hour or 2 to get the g-parents some much needed kiddo snuggles.






On the way there and back I got all crafty with my Jesse Tree Swap ornament: the angel:


Looking forward to a new tradition for our family - and teaching the littles the story of Christmas.

More to come - Mary Louise is gearing up for her stage debut!!

xo,
Heather